Sirius Summer Discomfort

Practically everyone knows that the sweltering, disagreeable days of summer (in the northern hemisphere) are referred to as “the dog days.” That’s what I’ve always called them, ever since I was old enough to mimic my parents…and learned how to sweat. … Continue reading

The Cuc/Zuc Litmus Test of Friendship

It’s that time of year again, for a gardener. It’s been hot and sunny, which bodes well for produce like cucumbers, zucchini, and tomatoes (as long as its augmented by frequent watering with the hose). The harvest has ramped up … Continue reading

Self-Diagnosed with NAP

Have you noticed that most diagnoses these days are a series of letters? ADD, ADHD, COPD, CKD, PTSD, etc.  A few of them are acronyms, like GERD, and SAD. Well…, I, with a list of my symptoms, using my own creativity, have added … Continue reading

Let’s Go “Home” Again

The word “home” used to imply so much more than it does today. Oh, sure, even now, it’s thought of as a safe shelter, a place where we gather for evening meals or holiday celebrations. Dig a little deeper, however, and … Continue reading

Melted by the Midwest Swelter

Have we set a new record yet, of summer days over 90º in the Midwest of the USA?! It’s the only optimistic viewpoint I can latch onto right now…that we set a long-standing record. If that comes to pass, I’ll … Continue reading

Make it “Theme Thimple”

When little kids lose their front teeth, sometime between 5 to 8 years old, they acquire (for a time) the most adorable lisp. Around that same age, they also develop an appreciation for themed learning opportunities and events. (Put those … Continue reading

Encounters of the Creepy-Crawlie Kind

Rodents and spiders, snakes and crawdads, slugs and salamanders, insects and warty toads, and caterpillars of every variety – in my life I’ve held each of the above-mentioned critters (and then some) in my very own hands. With my rural upbringing … Continue reading

The Chaos of Chemotherapy

Looking back once again, to 2008, and the most difficult days of my cancer treatments. Luckily for me, I have a reliable reference for my review. Ever since I was a young mother, my daily activities (as well as those … Continue reading

Overtaken by Offspring (A Serial Theatrical Production)

Overtaken by Offspring
(A theatrical comedy about family get-togethers)

ACT ONE, SCENE ONE:

Lights come up on the family Matriarch as she sits in her recliner, nodding off to sleep. Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. Matriarch awakens in a startled fashion, and makes her way groggily to the door. Opens door to Delivery Boy.

Delivery Boy: Telegram for Mom
Matriarch: (Yawns rudely) That’s me.
Delivery Boy: Sign here, Mom….ummm, I mean Ma’am.
(Matriarch signs)
Delivery Boy: Thank you, have a “good one!”
*{Please note: “Have a good one” is NOT an acceptable way to wish people a good day (if that is, indeed, what you are attempting to convey). “Have a good one” is a useless, grammatically incorrect statement….a good what?! A good lunch? A good commute to work? A good cry? A good laugh? A good report from my doctor…? A good nervous breakdown?! WHAT THE HECK do you mean by “one?”}

Matriarch closes door, fumbles around for reading glasses so she can focus on delivered telegram she holds in her hands, finally finds a pair and gets them correctly positioned on her face, and reads: “Extended family members to arrive next Tues (stop); Driving down from MN with camper (stop); Will camp out with you and rest of family (stop); Will expect all siblings, in-laws, and nephews to be in attendance (stop); Get EVERYTHING ready.”

Tired Matriarch looks at calendar and collapses.
Lights fade for end of Scene One

ACT ONE, SCENE TWO:
Scene opens on Matriarch with pile of papers in front of her, as she writes frantically on one of the papers.

Matriarch (talking to herself, as usual): “Okay….meal list complete; packing list complete; time to work on my shopping list, and then a detailed plan of action for the next four days so that I can be ready to go when the family camping reunion commences. Friday….at work all day; husband & I out with friends in the evening. Saturday…at work all day; to grocery store in the evening; Sunday…to Church in morning; get busy preparing all the meals we will need while on our campout. Monday….work all day; in evening, start packing my personal needs for the campout, also, clean the ENTIRE house and prepare to house numerous lodgers (i.e, twelve people, counting me) in case heavy rains come and we are forced to bail out (literally and figuratively) and head home for dry and comfortable housing. Tuesday…finish any last-minute housing and food details, pack personal belongings and food, rent moving van, head out to our Indiana property for the family camping adventure.

Lights fade as Matriarch climbs into bed and immediately falls asleep, murmuring something about bug spray, bubble wands, and big bottles of wine. The director thinks it best not to disturb her for a curtain call. Check back late next week when this delightful, dramatic comedy presentation continues with ACT ONE, SCENE THREE, when the Matriarch waves good-bye to her older daughters, sons-in-law, and five grandchildren as the visit (finally) comes to an end. 😄